I need first to forgive my wife and also myself and it is liberating to know that I am now in Gods hands to help restore my happiness in whatever way he chooses. He has become for us wisdom for the foolish, righteousness for sinners, sanctification for the broken, and redemption for the lost and afraid (1 Corinthians 1:30) and affection and security and identity for the lonely man or woman reeling after the end of a relationship. When you ask for a husband, he wont give you a snake. Because of Jesus, his promises never to leave or forsake you are true every moment and in every relationship status. God needs to show some of us the gravity of failed relationships because of what they wrongly suggest about him and his love for the church. My wife has decided to separate and have to blame myself for neglecting her and for not given her the simple things in life that she craved. Follow her on Twitter @jfreezay. But whoever has done the failing in your breakup, it wasnt God. It does require forgiveness and brotherly love. Doth not behave itself unseemly , seeketh not her own , is not easily provoked , thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity , but rejoiceth in the truth ; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. This breakup is giving me the sacred opportunity to feel Gods love for me and to practice intense self-love in the forms of self-compassion, self-care, and self-acceptance. Remember, God is a mysterious, who will help you through the rough times. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. As people come closer, and we need this in true Christian community, our sin inevitably becomes more dangerous. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. One of the hurtful byproducts of breakup or divorce is the disappointment that comes from someone whose support you want to either step out or take your exs side. For me, personally, the letdown has been how some people in my life seem to value my marriage more than they value my happiness, while others have acted in invalidating ways because fail to see or understand the wreckage in my soul. Sounds too good to be true, right? If you are trusting in Christ for the forgiveness of your sin and striving to follow him and his word, God has never abandoned you, and he will never abandon you. Then be honest about how you came to this decision, how he made this direction clear to you. Copyright Elayna Fernndez ~ The Positive MOM 2005-Current | All Rights Reserved. And while this may seem like a lot of reflecting, I just wanted the next relationship to go really well. It is not easy to move on when your loved one doesnt believe in God. When were left alone and feeling abandoned, its really hard to believe anyone knows what were going through. He loves you. The toxicity in a relationship and along the breakup process can drain you and debilitate you, but you can slowly regain energy and confidence to move forward. He has never been like this before. If you do get married, know that he will bring the imperfect man or woman you need. What Does It Mean When Your Favorite Color Is Orange? As recorded in the Bible, it is natural to, take better care of my body and love it back, 5 Reasons to Stop Striving to Be Your Best Self, The Ultimate Guide to Storytelling in Content Marketing. I put on a smile, praying, " The Joy of the Lord is my Strength." Some truths are so gut-wrenching that we almost wish we didnt find out, but even those hard truths are essential to healing because they provide safety, connection, and freedom. God provides new friends and mentors, and if you are willing to put your trust in him, he will provide them. So feel free to feel, and know that the pain points to something beautiful about your God and his undying love for you. Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. I have to remind myself each day, several times a day, that it is how God sees me that matters and to declare myself beautiful, valuable, and worthy of love, respect, and care. Breakups almost always hurt. Was the relationship worth saving? Therefore, its wise to seek spiritual counsel and support from other believers to help you navigate through this period. You are not alone. So in the three years that followed, I used a lot of energy envisioning how I wanted any future relationship to go. Nothing under heaven is in vain, including your time. Whenever you experience a breakup, you might wonder, Why did God let this happen to me? It is understandable that you feel hopeless and overwhelmed, but if you turn to God, you can be confident that the end of a relationship was for your best. When one prize is stripped away, we can graciously be reminded of how little we have apart from Christ and the fortune hes purchased for us with his blood. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. As you give thanks, you will find more and more to be grateful for. His joy before the wrath of God against sin is our first and greatest reason to fight for joy not just survival after a breakup. You feel like damaged goods, like youve been ruined in Gods eyes or in the eyes of others. But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you. Sometimes its hard not to feel tricked by God. As we let each other further and further into our lives and hearts, the sin is more likely to show itself and to cut the other person more deeply. If we follow him and trust him, we will not lose him. But it does not nullify Gods grace to and through you. It might be one of the most popular Christian break-up lines. In the last year she has honed her social media skills as an intern for Krochet Kids International, spent a total of 80 hours at Disneyland, bathed elephants in Thailand, and talked to classrooms full of teens about why waiting for sex matters. For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Faith can dissipate your uncertainty and summon the Heavenly Help you need. Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. While a relationship breakup is painful, God will use it to make us more like him. Share your own favorite Bible verse about breaking up, suffering, and betrayal in the comment area below! While this can be true in some cases, I think it could also be true that God will deliberately lead us into a temporary season with someone (and I say this based on my own experience and observations). One of Satans greatest victories in a breakup is convincing a guy or girl, It was all the other persons fault, and Ive already arrived as a future husband or wife. The reality is no one married or not has fully arrived this side of glory. And this is what I found here with your article. Again, run your talking points past a Christian brother or sister before taking them to your soon-to-be ex. Remember that not everything you lose is a loss and that as we release the old, the new can come in. If God is the cause of our breakup, we would not blame Him and would welcome whatever he allows to come our way. Throughout human history, God has remained faithful to His promises and has never let us down. Our mess is more likely to splash onto others, and theirs on us. Maybe youve been together for years. All of our resources exist to guide you toward everlasting joy in Jesus Christ. As a faithful Christian, you should never feel that your time was a waste. Rather than focusing on the brokenness and pain of the relationship, focus on the bigger purpose and trust God to work out the details. (I can not call it a break up and I can't even call him my ex. Many are the afflictions of the righteous: but the Lord delivereth him out of them all. If your history looks serial, you might need to break up with dating for a while. If you try to change them and make them believe in God, you will only be disappointed in the end. Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. His faithfulness dates back to the beginning of time, and He never forgets His plan for you. If we are in a relationship with someone who does not love us, God will use it to make us like his Son. Its nothing to hide or be ashamed of. So after those few relationships inevitably dissolved, I made the decision thatnext timeI would secure Gods seal of approval beforehand, so I wouldnt have to go through any more heartache. The joy is not in knowing that Jesus had it hard, too. Hold on to the hope of that promise and create a vision of what life will look like when restoration comes, as unbelievable as it may be right now. I have never been that religious but this horrible experience is definitely bringing me closer too God and whats really important in life. Waiting takes courage. My heart is not there yet and is not ready to let go and still hopes for communication, reconciliation and restoration) He really is a good man. In an age inundated with entertainment, how do Christians stay awake to the glory of Christ and help others do the same? Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee. All things are possible for you through Him. I gotta add that this wont happen by magic and as we put in consistent effort, the situation wont necessarily change, but our perspective will. As recorded in the Bible, it is natural to go through a wide range of emotions during a painful situation, and its the same for a breakup, especially if betrayal is the culprit. Relationships and love may be celebrated more in the church than anywhere else because we (rightly) love marriage so much. After all, God seems to want most of us to be married (Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 18:22; 1 Corinthians 7:2, 9). If you believe in God, you may be able to move on from the broken relationship and strengthen your relationship with Him. For me, this means that the next time I feel drawn to a relationship in that deliberate, nudging way, I will do my best to trust the God who leads me, simply because He isgood, not because I am guaranteed something lasting. If you believe that, then make the most of this breakup, knowing God has chosen this particular path to grow and gratify you in ways that last. Just like the disciples cast their heavy fishing nets to the vast ocean, when we cast our troubles to God, we are blessed. Marshall Segal is a writer and managing editor at desiringGod.org. The relationship may be over because of a specific character flaw or failure. Posted on Last updated: September 18, 2019, Main Page Articles About Motivation The Best 31 Bible Verses To Keep Positive After A Hard Breakup, Avengers: Infinity War Digital Movie Giveaway, How To Use Your Blog To Become A Digital Influencer. I am doing all I can to stay positive during this trial and I want to share some Bible verses about breaking up from the King James Version (KJV) that have guided me through this new journey Im slowly stumbling through. I have written about how I still love my ex and I will always love my ex. But trust we must! Unfortunately, these same convictions often make breakups an uncomfortable conversation at best embarrassing and at worst scandalous or humiliating. It is possible to feel joy even during a breakup and all the setbacks of today are preparing you for the comeback youve been praying for. I have tried to have conversations why we have had to separate and he will not talk to me at at all. We laughed together, we played together. It can be a time to regroup, grow, and discover a new rhythm for your future relationship. In fact, a relationship with the wrong person is a God-given opportunity to mold and train you. Especially in the age of online dating and social media, we really dont have to work very hard to find another prospect. Whether your date was a complete flop or your faithfulness was rewarded by eternity, God is still in control. When you partake of the Lords peace, you will feel the assurance that everything will certainly work out. A broken relationship is never easy to deal with. I look to God to be my helper, my Lord and my Savior. If youre wondering how to get over an ex-fiance in light of eternity, youve come to the right place. Even when we make mistakes, we must believe that he will make us better and grow in His grace. Own your own sin and ask for forgiveness where it is needed. In the Bible, God has already promised to heal our broken hearts through His Son, the Holy Spirit, and through the restoration of our broken relationships. Could I count on some prayer partners to pray with me about this? My motto: rejection is protection; rejection is redirection. He loves our lasting joy in him much more than he loves our temporary comfort today. Thank you! Christian relationships will survive breakups because you and your partner are forever in Gods new world. We had morning coffee and breakfast together with the reading of God's Word and prayer. If God was leading me into this relationship, it was going to beTHErelationship. Breakups in the church are painful and uncomfortable, and many of us have or will walk this dark and lonely road. Affection can be an addiction. I definitely held onto the idea that if God was leading me into this relationship, it was going to betherelationship. Charity never faileth : but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. Even if your relationship has ended, God is still in control. So, trusting God and pursuing healing through the Bible is a good way to overcome your broken heart. God uses breakups to build our faith and help us learn valuable lessons. Because dating is only a means to marriage, Gods design for our marriages speaks to his design for our dating relationships. Just because I was thinking this way didnt necessarily mean I feltreadyto be married. I love him very much and despite his off character behavior, I believe he still loves me very much too. Talk to someone who knows what it takes to persevere in marriage, and see what they think about your deal-breaker(s) in the relationship. All things. For those who hope in Jesus, all pain unexpected cancer, unfair criticism, an unwanted break up was given an expiration date and repurposed until then to unite us in love to our suffering Savior. You wont have many relational crossroads more intense, personal, and specific as a breakup, so it truly is a unique time for some hopeful, healthy introspection, checked and balanced by some other believers. Maybe you were convinced it needed to end, but knew how hard it would be to tell them. Sure, some things will be intangible, but find the tangible factors. Even when it looks like hes done you harm, he hasnt. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Sorrow in the midst of the severing is not only appropriate, but good. God is leading me to do this. God told me we need to break up. I saw a vision in a bush on my way to class and we werent together. All of them can probably be summed up like this: Look, its not you, its God.. Give them enough information about how God led you to this decision without crushing them or tearing them down. Without the ceremony and covenant, its not a divorce, but it can feel like it. Even if the relationship ended because God didnt want you to date him, you can be sure that God used it to shape your character and spiritually mold you. He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds. The greatest crescendo we could possibly experience in life is to be called by God into his kingdom and enjoy his beauty forever. When a relationship ends, you may feel as though your time was wasted, but you must remember that God is in control. According to Ephesians 6 Even if your relationship wasnt perfect, it can still be worth it in the long run. I also wasnt naive to the reality that sometimes relationships just dont work. I know he has a plan and I will need to be patient and put my total faith in him. He knew I didnt want to go through another breakup. Was it preventable? And in addition to all this planning and thinking, there was one thing I knew I could do to guarantee a good, lasting relationship:pray about it extensively beforehand. But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. And while that relationship didnt exactly crash and burn, one year later it ended. And where do I go from here? Trust him to provide for you each day (or year) whether you get married or not. Jesus went before the brokenhearted to pave the way for joy in pain. This person basically used me for 4 years, and I found out at the end the person he left me for, he has been off and on with before, and during us. While it is tempting to feel guilty, this does not solve the problem and only leads to negative feelings and regrets. Often, a breakup leaves you without a close friend, mentor, or family member. It is not true of Jesus. Giving yourself permission to cry and express your emotions is a powerful way to heal. The Lord is always for our good, and he desires to bring happiness into our lives. So what would it mean to move on and think about our ex in light of eternity? In the past, I hadnt made much effort to pray about the men I dated before actually dating them. I have studied all sorts of material to win your wife back and I am now putting my trust in God to provide the right path in life for myself and also my wife. The Bible records many emotions that we may feel during betrayal and painful situations. Remember, God is a mysterious, who will help you through the, Somebody Once Told Me the World Was Macaroni | Lyrics and, 10 Best Music Promotion Sites And Apps In USA In 2022-, 10 Best Music Promotion Sites And Apps In UK In 2022-. And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace , and be whole of thy plague. Its just dating, I remember telling myself (mostly in high school). There is this idea that if two Christian people are dating seriously and then break up, then they werent following Gods leading about dating each other in the first place. Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. I would love to hold it in my hand, turn the pages and to have side by side next to my Bible. He might reveal things to you about the things you thought you needed. | Trellis Framework by Mediavine, The Best 31 Bible Verses To Keep Positive After A Hard Breakup. Forgiveness is a process that requires love for self and compassion for the other. God Broke Us Up and Brought Us Back Together. Know that God is doing good, even when we feel worst. Even deaths of my family members such as my parents and my brother doesn't compare to this pain. When youre dealing with this sense of emptiness, you may try what I do: I tell myself its even more terrifying to stay with someone that makes you feel alone. Its normal to feel weak and defeated but relying on who He is, rather than in who I am, helps me stay positive and have hope amidst adversity. You bought the gifts, made the memories, and dreamed your dreams together and it fell apart. Copyright 2022 - 2023 Heart Eyes Magazine -. Most people in the world have no experience of lasting joy in their lives. Feeling Hopeless? You may share, quote, and link back with proper attribution. In the end, they dont have to agree with you, but its loving to help them toward the clarity and closure youre feeling. Were looking, sometimes it feels frantically, for love, for affection and security and companionship and commitment and intimacy and help. Our imagination, especially in an emotional crisis, can be a lethal weapon that Satan leverages against us for evil. Its one of the hardest things for me to write or speak about: the pain of intimacy that fell short of matrimony. I prayed typical dating prayers: asking for doors to either be opened or closed, and for us to be on the same page about dating or not. If youre going through a horrible breakup, a divorce, or any other affliction, I invite you to read and repeat the following scripture verses to comfort your broken heart and strengthen you during these troubled times, even if you arent religious. And every time, it seemed, another door would be opened, or another feeling would be confirmed. Often, a breakup leaves you without a close friend, mentor, or family member. Are you still in love with the person despite the breakup? I know in my heart that I am whole without my ex, but it requires a lot of faith to fully embrace a new season without the one you thought was your other half. As a Student of Pain, Ive found that our suffering is part of our calling. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Wouldnt He? It feels like divorce for a reason. Its okay to give yourself time to trust others, but trust in the Lord now today. I just want to know what is keeping him from me? You risked your heart. I mean, God knew my heart, right? And youll do so in a new world where no one is married, and everyone is happy (Matthew 22:30; Psalm 16:11). I took what I thought to be the green light as Gods way of saying to me, Dont worry, this wont crash and burn.. Whether we are ending a friendship, a marriage, or a business partnership, the end of a relationship hurts regardless of why it happened, and even if its a mutual decision. You werent made for this misery. Yes, I would like to receive emails from The Positive MOM. This is not a license to say harmful things, but helpful things, even if they may hurt initially. There are no better people than the one who knows your heart and knows your desires. Getting past the pain and sadness that comes with a broken heart is a challenge, but it is possible to find joy and peace in the broken heart of your ex. There were times we didn't perfectly agree about everything, and we would simply agree to disagree. When I feel like its the end of the world, I keep affirming the truths in these Bible verses to lift my spirits, give me hope, and help me see the positive side of this ugly pain Im feeling. Hearts werent built to be borrowed. God very well may lead you to a breakup, but dont use him as a scapegoat. As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him. You shared your life. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death , neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. And His plan is always better than our own. The Bible says that God has a purpose for everything, including the things that we have a hard time with. Likewise, God will heal the broken relationship if we let him. We all know some of the news we need most is hardest for a time, but fruitful down the road. Theres no circumstance facing you that hes not engineering to give you deep and durable life and freedom and joy. Therefore I felt it wasnt a big enough deal to put much serious thought into whether or not the relationship would actually work. This is so good. We have all the material wealth you could ever need and more and wrongly thought the more material wealth I could bring to her and the family would make our marriage stronger or at least secure. It's been a month and half now that I moved out and out of town. Doubt reigns during a time of breakup or divorce. God didnt take a break from loving you in your breakup even if youre the reason its over. By trusting God, you can use this time to get back on track. You see, I think I need some type of handbook or something to get me through my current situation. We are not alone. While you will meet again and forever in heaven, you may not be able to be friends now. Some days its harder to imagine that Ill be over this heartache and brokenness, but I remind myself of my favorite Bible story in which everything that Job lost was restored tenfold, including his joy. Waiting on God is a brave and a courageous thing, but it will require faith and trust. I am on a journey to take better care of my body and love it back during this transition. Sometimes its hard not to feel tricked by God. Full or partial reproduction or duplication without the author's express written consent is strictly prohibited and will be considered copyright infringement. Breakups included. Trusting with all our heart can seem a daunting task when it seems our ability to trust is as broken as our heart. And all things are at his disposal. And ye shall know the truth , and the truth shall make you free. All content on this site (written, visual, audio, video) is the sole intellectual property of Elayna Fernandez ~ The Positive MOM. I now realise without true love and happiness wealth means nothing and leaves you even more empty. If I was so keenly trying to follow His guidance, He would reward me for that. I spent deliberate time thinking about what I needed in a relationship, my standards for the kind of person I would be with, who I was regardless of my relationship status, and how to navigate physical boundaries. Not much comfort there. Yes, your boyfriend or girlfriend may not agree, but you need to share and confirm your perspective with someone who loves Jesus and both of you.